I wore the clothes,
I went to the jobs,
I drove the cars.
I made small talk about organic foods.
i''m not kidding the only thing that is haulting the urge to blow my head off is no gun or bulltets, i would definetlyely want a .38 special revolver to do it with and have ason to leave it to. just liek, in pulp fiction wh en the boy inherits trhe3 mnedal from that dudes ass. letetter s are meaning less to me now, spellling like hte age of my brain dead
these techniques have grown old and boring. I won't let them age with me. No longer dangle strings and hide my hammer. I dont know how to feel right now other than I want to kill the evil in me. I want to be what I know was once there again. I feel my heart clenched so tightly it will never love. just clench. my heart will just clench beautiful things and suck the life out of them. holding them there while they kick bite and scream. hurting the prisoner and the prison. I don['t even know if I care about her at all. I'm just lying to myself. I feel my chest flying as i exhale the truth. I
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What sucks in this world is when you realize the future is death and nothing truly matters fuck tv, fuck your tattoos fuck your face if anyone even wants to do that, with me that's the case .it also sucks when you are the only one to see this and you want to end your life but out of stupid human empathy you can't because you will hurt the people that beleive they love you . It's selfish to kill yourself and to love somene god is dead and so are we . Fuck fame too . How do I get around this situation? I'm not gonna kill the people who love me just so I can do myself in. The only thing I want in life just hurts me so what's the fucking point when your dick is dry and your heart is numb or dead. It only beats at the sight of a female fucking the fall of mankind holding all control. I now chose to give up control I am going to spread this hate but I don't know how yet. The planning starts now. I will begins by not showing anyone any of my emotions appearing to be a sociopath to the outside I will not show a single sad emotion my body is now a wall that will hold everything out. Love is an excuse to be happy when all there is is constant pain. I can't remember he last time I enjoyed anything but sticking my finger inside her ass. I like sex and cigarettes but I don't enjoy cigarettes. I enjoy some music but I'm told it tucks with your head. What do you do when all your heros commuted suicide or we're completely insane everyone is insane. I need to get out of amerca or out this planet. This angry is hard to melt and downy stop no after how deep it goes. I don't know where it started and it seems to have no end. I guess all life is born to die and I should be ready all the time, what does that do to my nerves? What am I hiding from myself? Who can help me but me if I don't know. I'm drowning but continuously, never dying just not breathing . My brain is dead cause in fucked were all fucked so why be happy it isn't a state of being it happens when you cum. Which isn't love it's a drug too. The only thing I enjoy in life is a form of a drug. Love is a drug and so are pets, phones; books , computers, dreams, music, movies, the earth is a giant drug that we're too afraid to burn through. I truly wish the app polyphase wold come right now I want this world to melt and the sun to disappear to all things. I'm gonna.
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Came across this randomly on youtube, its an awesome documentary/compilation?. I can't believe i've never heard of it. It's about early 3D modeling, some great 80's tunes too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL-L-R6DT5A&feature=c4-overview&list=UUrWdpZvcxUmJQUe22bMHyPw
I guess its time to let you go and flow on like the preface to rhythm you hold, you dont feel the beat of my heart ...you jus ttouch my left chest and shake.because i deied in97 and its a transplant of a bear.were both dead not ... my heart, that big kind bears heart... has run dry i'm sick of bing(not and add to microsoft) this far away from the girl i love.what sucks in life is you will never be loved, humans will never give the trust to ou that you stretch in fron t of them, and they act annoyed because they were usuing you as company fake love. they dont understand life as muc as me...we are all distorted.well good luck its the bst way to do it...of course this religioin requiores frequion tit picking like monkeys. there sso man fat asses with suck tight holes to tap, its not sexual. i know you wanna go out and do the same thing too. youve been giving me hints at it for so long like a passive little puss, look babe ill always love you but the only way you can hurt me is by doing what you are. do you live your 21 year old life. i havent even fucked a black chick yett, its not that big of a deal but i kinda wanna check that off my bucket list, i will sacrifice this mostly dissapointing dream. acutually i did fuck a black chick once.....BUT NOT ANALLY.. anal enjoyment only exists ive the girls recieving are being paid a huge // a mound of cum. .hopefully burried in there despereat throat, forbidding them adn you to flirt .. i do love you but LETS DO WHATS BEST FOR OURSELVES... and that me, you shit on my business when you have done NOTHING NOGHTHn but be a cliche waitress. thats not an insult ... its just stating hte facts. welcom to reality... move out of your parents crib before you become them, because i can tell you one thing i dont wanna marry you time bom anorexic judgemenetasl mother. i feel like i'm setttling for you, i gave you time but you just came outt this way . you havent progressed 1% since i met you... and you lied about it happening, i wouldnt care ...but you said youd be doing things you arent. i want to be rich ahppy and successful and i feel like you might hold me back from that. when i am rich and succsessful i will definetly come back and see you your available. I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE YOU Pllllz .i dont know i wish people were real. were all stuck here miserably alone so why not help and communicate about it.. i'm sorry i got my dick sucked once in the first week we were dating and its been the biggest mistake of my life. it was that girl we ran into to beauty bar and i was denying our entire relationship I'm as much to blame as you. ..
IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING SET IT FREE,
IF IT COME BACK TO YOU IT LOVES YOU
I'm not as perfect as I thought what the fuck is wrong why do I do this? Am I afraid at the mentioning of a permanent thing? But I am sure that's what I want l. I know I don't want anything else the question is can I be to her what she needs,can I trust myself enough to be what I want? I want to give her what she gives to me, I'm not sure what that is cause I know another person can't make you happy. I just know she's who I'm supposed to be with. I want to set an example of success I want to give her money and be everything she needs. This long distance thing is just a ducky thing Tp have to go through with the person you love. What am I doing wrong? Am I wrong? I think I'm just human I'm not perfect. What I really need is sleep. Relax and get my cavity filled tomorrow I wish the dentist would put me to sleep for it I hate having a numb mouth.
Well, she's back finally from her trip to Ecuador. She got home and started playing these songs on her keyboard she said a wise sage had taught her along with a large group of Ecuadorian naked boys. She was in heaven and is sad to be back. But I'm glad

They are finally being granted the same choices men have been choosing for years. they feel liberated just like the males of older generations had, going out getting jobs, getting tattoos, experimenting with substance. It is cute, but when you start seeing the consequences to your vivacious natural acts. Society is changing to let the woman become the next generation of addiction, porn careers and "womens liib" welcome to the party girls, we've been doing this a long time. i'm glad you are no longer slaves though, just be warned you aren't invincible. this is why we see young girls acting more like cocky young men, they are trying to be that because their gender has been oppressed by other people doing these things while they sat back and watched. but not anymore they will get up and do all those things they always wanted. haha they think theyre actually better, good job step 15 in our evolution is finally complete. realizing one has personal choice and flavor.
Alcohol is just a circle jerk everyone sitting around stroking their bottle till they feel good. Together riding the feel good wave.
i’m not riding off on my high horse, I know for a fact there are much better things to talk about than other peoples beliefs. I see you doing exactly what you are saying they do only in a different way. i don’t want to participate in this lack of conversation, because I’ve heard it a million times and it isn’t happening in the moment. its not going to change anything and it doesn’t make me feel good to rehash all this baggage that isnt even my own. turn your guilt on me because i am tired and want to lay down, i'm listening to god. i’ll just walk away. i’m not interested in re run conversations, i love you but you do like to hear your own voice and tell the same stories a lot, i love that about you though I wouldn't change . but baby when i’m sick and tired i gotta lay down and love me so i can continue loving you.
most people like live drummers in a show, student rat, a dummy drummer dressed up or preferably robot playing out of sync to everything while drum machine samples provide real sound, a gimmick for people who like the excitement of a live drummer but still saying fuck you to them. maybe in bondage gear or some other sort of puffy slave suit just rocking out or air drumming on random shit that is silent while getting very involved and way into it.