O don't know what I feel like. I thought I was capable of loving but it tie.s out I am not capable. I can't stand soo ma.y things. But all I can worry about is myself Nd I need to remember that I can't change her or make anyone love me they don't even matter all the matters is myself I feel like I don't even go e a fuck about anything my face is screwed up tight and my voice muscles will not speak in my regular voice I hate this but it's all I have

Mc and marcy

Watching all the orthodox Jews bounce with Mariah Carey in my headphones they look a lit sexier now

I'm walking on sunshine Wahoo Nd don't it feel good my body and god are one with backorder the airport secured my seven in a tube they used to suck it al up this isn't the new York city u came here to see I hope u aren't waiting on me welcome to your life where not everyone waits for me I haven't seen a train beggar in a really long time I don't relally

sometimes

sometimes people do extremely out of the ordinary (in other words crazy)things for love. it includes something they dont understand. even if it had to be done. hmm

You tell me you're in love with me
Like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me
It's not that I don't wanna stay
But every time you come too close I move away

I wanna believe in everything that you say
'Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There's things about me you just have to know

[Chorus]
Sometimes I run (sometimes)
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night

Baby all I need is time

I don't wanna be so shy
Every time that I'm alone I wonder why
Hope that you will wait for me
You'll see that you're the only one for me

I wanna believe in everything that you say
'Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There's things about me you just have to know

[Chorus]

All I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time

Just hang around and you'll see
There's nowhere I'd rather be
If you love me, trust in me
The way that I trust in you

[Chorus: x2]

All I really want is to hold you tight
Be with you day and night
Sometimes I run, (sometimes) sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night

Idaho suburbs

Idaho wife apologizes to husband about having an affair with her boss. Appologizes by giving him that 9mm he always wanted.

Aliens or Angels?

I was a witness to the sphere that took everything away growing behind the the moon.  It crashed into this planet leaving everything dead left to swell in the rot that remained of the U.S. of A.


I witnessed a sphere growing behind the ducking the moon.  I watched it collide with us like a shitting duck.  I left dead to swell in the rot that remained of the u.s.a.  and it worked.

trust

i trust it like i trust a teenagers taste in music

wiccan meth bitch

yea

Joke

Qp
I fear for our youth.

lets go

Good time$$$

Roar

Good tumblrs

http://safeforworkporn.tumblr.com/

Bitchhouse

Bummin cigs to an 18 year old kid.  Givin back what I get in the k mart parking lot.

LOL

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=779_1363713508

Culture whore

book made by him

I ALMOST

morrisey you are a broken scum bag, you shouldn't burden a normal people with gnaggines of your beennifits fucking FAGGOt nigga fucking a pussy ass bitch
i HATE the smiths
AND the cure
EQUALY
equallity






you can make a better band than them.....GO NOW! hitler translates to english GO
bnNOW

suburban white kids

I never could understand or get along in the way they wanted me to.  Cushioned by generations of parents living up the block they will judge everything and everyone.  Everything is funny for some reason they can make fun of the sickest things.  I am not the most positive person but sitting around cracking stupid jokes hoping another person will laugh is a bad way to waste your time.  They mock art because they are afraid to understand it.  This is art in itself.  I show them things they don’t understand, they lash out to make it make sense in their sheltered brains.  Stuck here for the appeal of living on their own.   Roomates, glasses full of water downed beer.  they hold you down to their level thinking they can make anything sink so they can step up on it. get the upper foot over your head to push you down. this is what separates me from them. urban based childhoods are stripped of the bullshit.  under the cities lies the most corrupts people. on the the other side of the mountain where the tap water runs into britta water filters, check up phone calls to moms, chain restaurants and hatred for those who get laid.  you think you can beat everything. your world is so far away from mine.  i never understood being so negative in jokes.  unexposed and overrated hollister wearing car driving hand me down arcade fire cd’s. they pirate everything, they watch the late night shows and laugh.  I have seen all the videos they show on youtube.  this is why i have never been able to be close to anyone.  i’m not gay but i can’t bro out like the others can. 

Golden coral

Notw to self make a documentary about all you can eat buffets

Its on heart of the swarm

Got it babes

another

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dream

the first one was a crazy fun party with a number of things going on with greg and all my closest friends there in short we decide to all ride our bikes through this tunnel through the mall, we all ride in a line maybe 50 kids on bikes and when we go to get in the cave some of us got stopped and arrested while some made it through. the second i was tired and it was after the first time wise,  nadine was going to a party and i went with and brought my dog roxy.  it was in a mansion and there were lots of gangsta swag guys there, and a leader that was 4 times the size of a normal man.  he was the king pin and had all the girls upstairs. i waited downstairs holding roxy i wanted nadine to come down but i couldnt leave my dog with these other slutty girls.  so i was just holding her.  nadine came down and said how much fun she was having while either not noticing or caring about the guys talking closer and closer to her face, putting their arm around her and basically seemed like she was having fun and didnt really need me there. everntually the king pin came down and began testing me and i told him not to lean on my dog because she is small and getting old. he ended up admiring me and liking me so we went and drove around together. i don't know if he was just trying to get me out of the house so nadine could have fun with the other guys. but halfway through the drive i got a text from nadine that said "is it ok if i wrap up roxy really good in some blankets and quilts and ship her to you?" i freaked out and was thinking she must be on whatever drugs they had given her to come up with such an idea.  it would smother her. so i asked the king pin if we could go get her and take her to suzi's my moms friends house so she would be safer. we went to the post office place before for some reason and then we were driving around trying to find suzis house before we got roxy. 

airplane dream

I have never fallen asleep on an airplane, and never will again.  It was an intense lucid dream on the version of a delusional reality.  I was sitting next to the same people as i was in real life and everything was a little weird and off there was constant music playing really loud in my ears, i wrote all the songs in my head i guess cause nothing was really playing in my ears.  there were people that kept coming out of the back of first class, and i honestly believed that they had drugged my complimentary sprite.  right before we took off in real life the pilot had said its going to be an abnormally bumpy take off but not to worry because the plane doesn't care if its smooth or not.  we were flying and people kept coming up randomly i think this was influenced because of the god damned Harlem shake airplane video i had seen the day before.  so time went on and shit was fucking crazy in the dream, i was awake and 'lucid' in it it was like it was really happening, we had some turbulence and the pilot came on the intercom saying an engine went out we were going down.  we went down for a crazy bumpy ride but didn't do any damage, it was like a bus stop pit stop where me and the mixture of first and working class passenger went in...of course tsa was there. ughh.  they swapped the engine and we took back off.  even more songs were playing of all varieties, jazz, bollywood. all this crazy shit with random first classers coming up fucking with my, i felt like i was tripping seriously.  then even before we got to denver we had to make another unscheduled pitstop in montana....i don't even know where montana is.  we waiting in the car there then blasted back off. this time we were so high up that my ears began hurting from the pressure and the music blaring in them.  the dream finally ended when my ears started to mist hot, squirty, air, water stuff all over the passengers to my right and left. i was like what the fuck is going on...then somehow i woke myself up. i also thought i wasn't scarred of a plane going down but in the dream i realized how much i want to live.  i woke up sweaty like a wet pickle and i believe i might have talked in my sleep my whole body was sore and strange from sleeping awkwardly.  i don't know if i really talked to the passengers next to me but if i did it must have been some crazy shit.  now i'm in denver waiting

Studen rat seatbelt, Mexican at heart, and samwa

Caca swap

lite

I hung like a dead rat, a dream catcher made out of reflections of new york shitty.  this happened in my other apartment as well, for some reason its something you can't record or take footage of, its just something you have to be there for sort of thing.  at my old apartment i had this curtain with these round faux copper rings hanging it to the pole, for some reason after i hung this up every morning after sunrise the entire street outside would project onto my wall.  brookelandsyn's version of the northern lights.  now waking up in my next room, first time i've put a curtain up and sure enough the same thing is happening there are these fucked gorgeous strange lights again.  this time in the corner of my room. a small sidewalk without people but fragments of steps projected onto the corner of my ceiling, also the j train and stained glass i believe from the station has a long stripey peak in the corner. just wanted to remember it.

leavin

Slits

This tone deaffff seal is broken by the broken flourished flowers, the same one.that fucked your wife and took names....s

Slit

lightsaber battle 1st person

awesome vid

piiza

He walks home next to her with the fresh new ideas put into his head.  The phrase that stuck out tonight over everything yelled by a man riding a horse toy "the present is a present, don't you know that;s why they call it the present?". He walked home with the thoughts still stirring his brain. He spoke excitedly to the girl. He had to sabotage his inspiration.  He baked a frozen pizza with added ham and cheese, when it was finished he threw it away. He went to the store, then came back to cook another pizza. He threw it away.  He woke up thirsty so he chugged a gallon of orange juice, and a quart of milk. He laid in bed with his stomach physically cold to the touch from the fridge liquid swollen belly.  He slept naked after making a fool out of himself to the person he loves.  He was told by the loosie man that he was too high.  


and the pictures are for entertainment

Kalifornia dreamin'

another crazy dream, I guess thats what i've come to expect after falling asleep directly after watching a sequence disturbing movies. It tangled around my unconcious thoughts rooted deep in my soul, and pulled out all the shit.  this one involved faux-anal sex fantasies, school, carry around analog synthesizer school full of nerds that hated me, and worste of all my mother was lurking around almost every corner.   I had taken on some of the characteristics of "early" a white trash serial killer spawned from a comic book series poured into my brain via pirated movie.  He was a snorting controlling psychopath.  I didn't take on the murderous urges he did, Just an occasional snort and lust for anal sex.  I exited a room wtih an extremely stiff dick, sneaking past my mother I laid my eyes on my girl half bent over naked against a wall.  It seemed like a race against the clock since she was accepting anal at this terrible time in the hallway of my school.  So I ran with bow legs up to her and the second the skin touched her crack I errupted so hard it spurt a hole throught he ceiling, leaving a spider man web around the boarders.  I didn't even get it in and blew my load, I guess i'lll have to wait untill next dream to fuck her in the ass.  to make things worste i arrived at orientation and the harry soggy bodied nerds had loaded an image on the projector of me naked from the chest up blowing my load. they blew it up on the wall and laughed. all i did to get back at them was hang my head and snort like a serial killer.   that was pretty much the end, atleast i woke up and was permitted to enter her vaginally. Vagin-alley

lil nigga

I love you lady nady

I wanna know what its like to love life the wys you do. To see everything I see and continue towards the future without looking back. I walk around with my head turned around, looking at what I could have missed.your already at the next adventure and didn't even see what I saw exists. You like things ill never be able to do fully. This is why I love you. I do need to learn how to be better for your kind. I've never had a lover like you. You keep glowing and frowning and setting goals. I am very excited for your goals and they inspire me to be a better person. I need to keep working on not locking you in and giving you more room to breathe. I appreciate your free roaming spirit even if I have a different kind. You keep me going. Sorry I get a little out if control and forget how tight I'm holding my arms around you. I am learning and I want only to be with you. My magical explorer high classy socialite. When we fight you talk without thinking and what Pissed me of is you are usually right. It's ok I need real truth. I'm sorry about the spite shit I'm over it too. I don't wanna do it to you. I wanna learn to love the same things you do so we can grow and Di them together. How do I maintain my own true self when I do that though? Bottom line is I love you and don't want to fuck it up with old bad habbits.

dj's are annoying.movies rock. wings and a storm good

 Went to see side effects tonight, it was amazing.  It evoked feelings of hatred I have only felt to selfish thieves and people who call themselves dj's.  both a self centered absorbed lifestyle where you ruin peoples lives.  Jude Law has always been in my heart and tonight he proved he's still a very involved actor.  the movie kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time.  I kept trying to guess what was going to happen and was sometimes right, but mostly uppercutted by some gnarly twists.  i'd recommend this movie to anyone. seeing an R rated movie in happy valley on opening night is a pretty awesome experience.  there was room in the theatre which is something i'm not used to anymore.  no body shouted or felt the need to draw attention to themselves like selfish children.  no one lit up blunts or used their phone to play gucci mane mid movie.  there are definetly certain perks of being landlocked in the midwest. the news is starting to get to me, these people are so bored its twists my insides.  I thought the movie was going to be about affairs and other rich people problems, but I had these ideas shoved back at me. It was perfectly cast and all thriller no filler.
back to dj's.  I wish these people didn't exist. I mean places do need to play music, but I really don't like hearing and seeing these people. I can't explain the way i feel but lets just say they irk me in the wrongest way.  I like one or two dj's and the rest can suck my dick, choke and die.  they should really just kill themselves...most of them have herpes and more twitter followers than people who vote.  there are so many things i hate about my generation sometimes i wonder how i ended up here. i also ponder the fans of dj's, how the unemployed feel the need to go out and be seen doing something on a friday night...when every night is a friday to them. they talk about big girl pants...but keep cutting them into shorts.  I don't care if the dj at tandem is good...I wish you'd answer the questions i actually ask and care about. i do love you though. contradictions everywhere i look. i guess the only way to get through is to stay true to myself.

go see SIDE EFFECTS!

and if you're a dj-you look stupid in those sunglasses and no one really respects anything you've ever done...what have you ever done?

more rreading on dj hatred
http://modernsophist.com/why-i-hate-djs/

best comment
"the Ecltronic crap DJ's like to call "Music" iis only music in the sense that "call of duty" video game is war"

dan rather is the man

video responses. wow you are one cool cat
http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/182tx8/i_am_dan_rather_former_anchor_for_cbs_evening/

dan rather is the man

video responses. wow you are one cool cat
http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/182tx8/i_am_dan_rather_former_anchor_for_cbs_evening/

ObamaNanna

scarry cemetery

Roxy caruso

I'm.loving roxy so much right now our bond is indescribable I raised her since I was 13 and she has turned out to be the cooles best dog ever I can't ever raise a dog like this again I dunno what I did right but she is fuckingperfect and so smart different than other dofs. It makes me feel like I'm.a good dad

butts

Ateam spoof

Roxy in black and white singing.pastries pastries

ATM dream

 today i woke up from a pretty odd yet good dream.  I was living in my same apartment in brokeland but my roomate and i shared a room, also that person alternated their presence between my girlfirend and roomate.  We woke up and there was an ATM in our room we started breaking down the sides of the walls and i unplugged it so we wouldn't get electrofied. we got the siding off and saw bundles and fat stacks of cash.  it was almost caged in and we couldn't pull it out.  stupidly we decided to take it downstairs in ghetto ass brooklyn and leave it outside by our trash while we went and retrieved a crowbar from somewhere???  we returned to find the ATM missing.  I instinctively looked across the street to see a beautiful picket fence home with a suburban yard. it was a bit out of place in the middle of trash city.  i knew the person there was a young russian gangster. I told my roomate/girlfriend alternating personality thing that i was going to go get our atm back.  i asked him if he had it and just handed me 100$. he told me his uncle had pulled some big strings and took the atm from a local prison.  I didn't even question the fact that there was an ATM in a prison. so i end up saying to him that i need the money from it, or atleast 1000$.  i told him come on he wouldnt have even had it if it wasn't for me.  he said his uncle dropped it off and he wouldn't spare it, for some reason i knew it was 30,000 dollars in the machine.  I wanted to get atleast a piece of that, after trying to convince him and drinking tea or whatever it was he turned into a russian house wives as his/her kids walked in through the door. i was suddenly unable to speak of this subject in front of her kids and she began being a mother. i left dissapointed.

how to pray

how to pray

how an atheist prays, takes a knife cuts little slits along the veins on his ballsack. he mixes the blood with gasoline and styrofoam. spreads the napalm on his chest in a circle and lights it on fire. when its finished burning he rolls up his dead skin and smokes it.

sado masochist, gets a razor blade and slits little cuts on the body when the oxygen hits there blood it releases their spirit.  then they lick the blood of their own body in the name of there christ.

how a hillbilly prays he gets down on his knees, opens the cooler lid reaches in and pulls out a cold one takes a sip, and says my god this beer tastes good.

how a teacher they have to write on the chalkboard 100 times then at the end of the day they erase it and say “i’m glad is over.”

how a lunatic prays they stare at the moon for hours until it disappears, when god sheds the light of day. they continue staring they shit down their leg and keep staring at the funny little man in the moon.

how a trucker prays in walkie talkie code, jesus you gotta copy? 10-4 good buddy.  thanks for all the stuff amen over and out.

how a fetus prays off its mother.  i hope i’m not in her ass.

how the president prays no new taxes. god bless this nation and please don’t let me shit my pants in front of all these people.

how a marine prays unit core god country.

how murder prays god let me get away with this or i’ll kill you to.

how a tobacco farmer prays god please find a cure for cancer. my lungs are muddy and full of hate

how oprah prays god look under your seat cause i dropped off an amazing prize from our guest mathew mchaunahey

how dave chappele prays god i hope my audience is smoking.

how god prays man i hope no one calls me today

how pamela anderson prays she gets Botox

how a prostitute prays, lord please remove this putrid stench from my crotch.
how a whore prays lord please dont let me get aids today.

how liu kang prays

how eddie van halen prays, plays guitar with a cigarette hanging out his mouth, spreading the gospel to the world through rock and roll he salutes himself. misses valerie so much. he was a lucky man

how to write how to book write stuff about how to do stuff

this purchase is pay at your own risk we are not  liable for refunds.


how a fisherman gets through his week 1 bate at a time

Ppeeps

Building personaloties out of things that don't have a person inside

HOMEWARD

I haven't been home for a bit so my mom bought me a ticket and i leave on wednesday.  When I visit home I like to find cheap electronic circuit bending canditates. Visiting mormon thrift stores and sifting through old used up shit. handheld cassette recorders and toy keyboards are gold to me. what places sell them in nyc is ridiculous. in utah you can pick up a tape recorder from savers for 2 bucks, this is how it should be world. i'm unemployed and stirring here its pretty odd. this still feeling i feel alone isn't sufficient and instantly dissapears when i'm around people. i realized how much i love and care about my girlfriend. she is upstate right now with a friends family staying in a cabin.  she doesnt have service, so i can't text her like usual to cheer me up.  i am going to focus in utah and get a good financial plan going and try and overcome some depression maybe get some help with it.  my cigarette addiction has turned me frigid. its controlling and evil.  i let it be. but i feel like i'm not strong enough to stop. its so easy to forfeit control to our ass eating society. this economy built backwards. I just watche a negeo special drugs inc on heroin.  it is very eye opening to the problems drug cause in the health world. there is an experimental clinic in switzerland that is administiring addicts with 100% pure heroin twice a day.  the addicts say they can lead a much more normal life this way, they are able to sustain relationships, hobbies and jobs. unlike before the clinic when they were completely out of control and ashamed of their habbit.  i think this is a good approach, the doctor doesn't pull a rabbit out of the hat or trick you into thinking its a perfect program, its just designed to reach the addicts and gain trust so they can help them work on the real problems. i think its a really cool idea that is better than jail. if they got to have it they have to have it.  there is also a man in chicago that goes around to crack houses, and shooting galleries to administer fresh syringes and heroin antidode.  i think this guy is really inspiring and cool. he saves lives and helps people that are in a very strange feedback loop of death.  they are alive but stuck on one idea for way to long. its like breath to them because their brain is no longer theirs.  checkout the doc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYiuRyLnZOk

stilla

achooo!

67641536

3388

lolbaby

scar

Best Songs of All Time

I need this list so i can fall back on it when i'm too cloudy in my head to even find these songs


Elton John-- Rocket Man
Bonnie Tyler-Total Eclipse of the heart
Fleetwood Mac- Dreams
Fleetwood Mac- Landlside
Paul and Linda Mcartney- Long haired Lady
Carpenters-Its going to take some time this time
Simon & Garfunkel- Cecelia

Joy Division-No Love Lost
Joy Division- Sister Ray
Joy Division- Shes control again
David Bowie- oh you pretty things
Lou Reed- Perfect Day
Lou Reed-Walk on the wild side
Nine Inch Nails-closer
Velvet Underground- Heroin
The Smiths- Please, Please, Please , Let me get what i want 
The Zombies- Time Of the Seasons
Tears for Fears- Women in Chains
Elliot Smith- King Crossing
The Good Life- Inmates
Dntel-Breakfast in Bed
Beach House-Used to Be
Beck-Nothing I haven't Seen
Yeah Yeah Yeah's-Modern Romance