Brain Process

so here we are and there it is. staring back at us like it wishes it could know it all,  but it will only move to show off..and reach way to far. search but not be found, in this hell. we reach for it to pull it towards us, but the flow is interrupted our thoughts continue to be useless... not even floating down the river.. just struggling and hurting ourselves in the freedom of the water. something in me is holding against every single current that is on life's side. is getting older the same as dying? for some reason i thought we would be revealed the truth, not get more lost in the open.  touching my thoughts i pull back a bit. i’m sick of sabotaging what i know i want.  i wanted her, she wanted me, but i couldn’t decide so i dove head first into the decision i knew was wrong.earlier it matter but now so much anymore i’d rather get gagged and straddled into the wind where the hammock sways and we lay in peace this dysfunctional fucking comedy is making me feel very guilty for laughing. doctor and cocaine.  the perfect love couple that keeps them both interested. fun. amen. die now.

i use the dot dot dot’s to avoid bad grammar...which in turn formulates the bad grammar. fuck this shit and the coma is just a sit or spin live or deal. split or stay. someday it will matter.