Sigur ros

Prospect park 2012 didnt Pau 40$ yo get in, so im lating outside the fence where I can hear it perfectly thet jeep planning My favorite songs. Man it beautiful i have chills and goosebumps hearing these times that used to sing me to sleep. This band sounds idénticas to their álbumes and hey are playing the whole spectrum of álbumes. Its getting My inner water flowing for sure

sticky

i really do

i'm really in love with this girl.  I'm just going to trust it and let it be, i'm not going to

wakeup!

reoocurring themes of the contest of doing things,
dreams slapped into reality
they aren't real
we're really real.

Material

I'm living in a material world and I am a material girl

I'm living in a material world and I'm a material girl

Golden Eye

i'm goign to have to develop some serious ways of spending my time, i used to use this time to kill myself but now i will do something a little more "productive" i think you are not like any other girl you are special like the girl in spy movies the exotic girl that steals diamonds and robs banks with you. someone you can live wiht and have fun with forever.  you're fire and i see the sun in you.  when sense my hesitation it's because i'm getting very close to fire, so i'm a little startled, i'm just being cautious.

soft

the inner warmth to the top horizontal and bottom vertical light triangles. your body in the center, the life and holyness of touch feelign being heated up to a random person in yoru kitchen begging for her blue cup. its not our problem.  finally letting go of the quick dodge reality trick i learned when i was younger.  the smoke has filled my body and made me sick. it will make us all sick. we will play ball with the catcher just to prove we can throw. a owoman walkks aroudn in beautiful clothing she used to not dare wear she is very kind and takes care of her man. she loves her man.  he is sick as a a gypsy and she is out to get a basket of goodies. some delicious treats to cure his fever and cough. i feel my legs and botdy finally start growining and not that i'm holding in something that should be snowing i want to flex my face like other people that apepard to really be there. i feel some of my face but now from the inside i feel it the air on the outside touching the surface. i inhale and a strange bubbling sounds in my chest. i'm passing out now. i fall into my sheets and twist and shout in my dreams i'm fighting the sleep. i do'nt want it. i get the illusion of your body being the warm one. when i just feel the heat on my body like the surface told before. its a tall cup of water to force down. beach days listening to the natural surround soudn of the ocean and standing up on busses' i actually injoyed a salad today.my fingers feel week and i was afraid to call work but i don't work till saturday thank god.  i want a record player so i can finally hear my new order album

falling out of reality

falling out of reality is a scary thing. you land and you are in this unfamiliar world and nothing you know and trust is there or makes sense to you. it could be the darkest part of me i've ever seen. it happened first a few months ago at a party. i had gotten extremely drunk and became dellusional at an amazing roof party. there was loud music and a live drummer just jamming along to the beats. it was really hopping and i should have had a good time.  my buddy rolled a joint and of course i partook. after this everything went downhill. i became paranoid about the light shining righ on my face, my girlfriend was just trying to talk to me and i was not in reality, i honestly believed that this entire thing was staged. i don't know if its because it seemed too cool and godo to be true or what.  i believed my friend greg and my girlfriend were on a mission to be my "friend" or keep me under control. kind of like the truman show, it was scary. i hadn't had another experience like this for some time. yesterday i decided to get some cheap wine during the day. i was planning on drinking it alone, but when i cam home my downstairs roomates door was open so i poked my head in to see what was up.  he is a really depressing guy i have no idea why i even went into that room (which used to be my old room)  i don't even remember this guys name its kind of sad.  he makes me feel like there is so much weight on my shoulders and he is pretty fucked up in the head. smart, but fucked up.  after getting a minor buzz and him getting obliverated he started talking about ex girlfriends and shit.  ick so i went to get another bottle of wine up to my room, and caught my new neighboor entering his door. we introduced ourselves and i told them i smoke and was about to smoke. he was with a black dude with long dreads pulled back, pretty cool looking dudes. so i went inside and had a seat on his couch. it was very nice and open in there, i should have taken that room.  after some small talk i got really high and began to drink their cheap rum.  they were cool guys but one thing i noticed was the owner of the room was very fidgety and never looked me in the eye.  i began getting very introverted and coming up with some crazy ideas after talking about dennis. i felt like they were controlling my body or my inner feelings in one way or another. like i was wired up to their system and no longer controlled my own body.  the man that wouldn't make eye contact sat menacing in his chair.  they began talking about someone and i assumed it was me.  i put together in my head that dennis the old guy in there was making a movie about me or some art project and everyone i've met that i'm kind of close to is related to this guy.  greg my buddy i met through him and my girlfriend new him before. at the time i bleleived everyone i met that has associated with this guy was in some kind of matrix all watching me. it really bugge dme out. then when i got into my room i was so hammered it was turned into a mess and i didn't remember doing any of it.  i couldn't hardly hold myself up i was thinking about my lover being one of them. just doing her job with me.  i don't think i could be able to handle that.  then i realized i might be going crazy, i might have paranoid delusions when i get extremely fucked up. when i do that i go on autopilot which then is a blank idle conciousness that can be taken ahold by any of the evil swarming inside of you.  anything in your body can then slip you on like a glove, and make you pickup things and hold them to your mouth as you watch.  i really love my girlfriend and i never want to be so bad that she can't stand me. sometimes we can't stand ourselves, but thats why we have loved ones, they strenghten us through positive influence and love us even when we hate us.  i really appreciate that, i want unconditional love and i will give unconditional love to you and our future children forever.

seller

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salutations follow the leader after they've dropped off a ocupl eo fyears, you lose your inner sttrenght when others are around your energy drags in their direction everyone seeems to be a vampire to you. how can you set a wwall up to block this vaccuum friends extend? shaken and scarred of nothing real just the one thing youc an't run away from yourself and the epic knowledge that all people are created, not equally but wer are all created or made into somehting we are not supposed to be at the end. feeling soft in the eyes reflects the calmness of your brain.  but usually i squeese them really tight and don't let anybody really see whats underneath, i feel if they see tensipon they don't see me if they dont' see me i can't get hurt. because what there hating isn't really me. wtf kind of philosophy when clouds are always out in summer time its awesome. OH MY GOD GONS PLEASE Calm me. don't you know? i  was once standing up adn i finally sat down i didn't want ot feel my legs trying anymoree. i once fell in love and i held it down, i can finally beliece i deserve our love. and the movie on the screen is a rapid rape scene... what am i supposed to do with my experiment of a self. i know you fucking faggots at heart are all watching. i see some [ep[le play jazz but not even hear it. what a gimmick some fuckimg wannabe artists can be i don't understand whats gotten into me. i don't know if i understand the continue action. am i really me mee me me em wtf i dunnnt want me or any friends in this i wish i spilt on myself and woke up with it fora change something is coming and its landing fast i cant feel safe i dont know what to do about that.

loosie

somethign has been delicious in the air ately i think its reality but i can't be sure if i trust it. i went ot the store for a sand witch and ended up getting talked to by this old bum guy with a hole in his center lung areat and a tube as well. he asked to see my tattoo and said it was something he'd seen before, all i told him was it was da vinci and then we stood together waiting for my sandwich in silence. then two dudes walked in headed straight for the beer section. the one in front stared me down, i just stood waiting to feast on cajun turkey. i got my sandwich high from the high deli chef, and checked out from the high cashier. it was nice wobble wobble was playing on the radio and it felt amazing. i left and doubled back, i had forgotten to pickup loose cigarettes even though i have 3 more in my pack. while asking for the loosing one of the dudes said "did you just say loosie they have loosies here" i grunted him off got my cigarettes and was out the door. on the outside i got a light from the bum that asked me about my tattoo, a human as an extention to a lighter much like my arm.  love for people much like arms. a tall fit black man was yelling outside the bodega i couldn't quite tell if he was talking to someone across the street or just yelling at god because the bum seemed very into his conveersatuin it could have gone either way.  i turned around the corner after lighting my cigarette and the man yelled "white boy" i ginored him "white boy yeah i'm talking to you" i turned around and he was approaching fast spitting game to get a cigarette i said "i only have a couple of loosies for me and my girl" he replied "you got any loose change?"
"nope i'm broke"
"where the cash at find the cash"
we departed on this question of information.