its funny how fast your outlook on something can change. in the heat of being intruded on you may yell in the face of the crowd. but to keep to yourself you will guard the hole in your walls. things feeling kind of strange like the usual things. time blinks on and off as usual skipping mass periods of time, i can't tell if i'm blacking out into nothingness or if i'm blank meditating. it feels weird to bleive such a snowball of made up information. i wonder how when i was raised if this stubborn thumb was left inside me that is too good for everything but not good enough for anything. good old rock and roll keeps me going usually. sometimes rap will put me in an ok mood but it is all very hallow fun style music. rock and roll has some finger nails and can dig in. people confuse themselves when they dont want a friend near but they end up there anyway and you are now to beat down and weak to say no. so you buy champagne and miss a good show. but you didn't really miss it you. eveyrthing is lining up atleast financially i hope so. i can't wait to stert my jerb.
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