I was born deaf. My parents raised me not to be disabled, to talk like my brother's did and to speak up for myself that I was a normal person. In sixth grade my uncle lived with us and it wasn't until he forced his slimy dick into my preteen mouth that I realized I wasn't good enough, I'm defective.
The feelings at that age are so confused as I look back it still makes my pussy wet the humiliation the taste of his salt mixed with my tears. It was my first sexual experience. My parents believed him over me and thought I was just fishing for attention. That's when it started.
I was 23 years old, and working at a front desk for a local university something many other deaf people don't do. I am disgusted and confused with myself everyday. I wanted to take myself to the outer darkness that I learned about in the LDS church. I wanted to end my half life. I began making claims I was suicidal for the attention. I ended up checking myself into a treatment center and they treated me badly. I had been cutting myself for years to feel the pain but my bishop helped me stop. But I still had a distorted itch between my legs. I believe in the morals my religion has taught me,that's why I hate what I do to myself.
I stopped cutting myself to feel and posted an ad on craigslist for a sado-masochist partner to put me in my place to force their slimy members into me, to hurt me and make me feel pain. I got a few responses ended up meeting this "man" who called himself the only. I met the only at his house after an email picture exchange. He was a gross fat slob, unemployed with a stringy broken mustache and one eye was never looking at you. He had me come in and tied my hands with zip ties, I watched him quit his world of warcraft game and open a rape porn video. The first time it was mostly just spanking and he made me eat the cockroach shit off his floor a he came in my eyes and made me snort the rest off his dick, it burnt my nose and tasted rancid. the yellow clumps were hard to get up my nose, but i made them fit.
The next week I felt horrible about what I had done but felt the need to go back. This time was much more brutal and to the point as he answered the door in a leather gimp suit. he greeted my by bending me over shoving a mason jar up me and then proceeded to fuck my ass until It was bleeding like that time of the month. It hurt so good finally I was getting the punishment I needed but not from myself. I could barely sit down for the next week and shit clumps of blood and even found a paperclip straightened out in one of the clumps. I told him it was a little too much for me and he said follow the code,you're mine now, I own you until I decide to dismiss you.
His house smelt like sulfur and pickled eggs. It was as filthy as him, but a little less disgusting. He began filming me as he ripped my tampon out taping it over my mouth screaming at me to squeeze his balls and to put my pink blouse on him. He had me call him a pretty little girl. I puked out my nose because my mouth was taped off. he ripped my hearing aids out like he had the tampon and shoved them up my asshole. He said if it wasn't still up there when I came back I would pay. All week I didn't hear and accidentally shit them out a few times and had to shove the hearing aids back in on my own.
The next visit he pulled them out of my ass and was satisfied I had kept them in all week. he would call me a worthless handicapped bitch. He showed me the hearing aids soaked in my own bile and shit before he stuck them back into my ears. He never showered himself and you could tell by his ringworm and rashes he now passed on to to me. He suffocated me with his dick as deep as it could go with a close pin on my nose so I couldn't breath. I passed out and woke up with my limbs spread tied against the bed posts ,ductape across my eyes and I could feel something big inside my ass. When he saw i had woken up he kicked me in the face and put his athletes foot in my mouth making me suck his toes as he ate dominoes hot wings dipping them in the gaping hole I could feel my butt had turned into. It burned and he would eat them after, making me eat the ones with shit on them.
I was going too far into this. he was such a fucker he didn't deserve to have a sex slave deaf or otherwise. He wasn't even getting me off anymore like he had with the vacuum on my third visit to the dungeon . I began feeling very guilty and decided to confess to my bishop. I didn't tell him all of the details but he understood and instantly judged me. He said I needed to pay my tithing more and that I need yo stay away from him if I wanted to get into the celestial kingdom. I told a coworker the truth and how I love to hate this. She told my boss and they wanted me to go to another treatment center or take a leave for personal reasons, that bitch I should have never told her. She ruined everything.
That is where I am now I'm 26 now and getting mind fucked in this asylum I can't escape. sometimes the night staff will gang bang me and that's the highlight of my month. I like the black guy because his cock almost feels like the mason jar in my ass. I dream of death, I know I've lost myself completely. I break up the days by writing sex stories and I've become obsessed and banned from the computers for watching porn. It's all I have to make me feel its what I want if I can't have death the meds make me feel crazier. I just gave myself an enema with a bottle of drano ..... I found on kitchen duty,I'm starting to get sleepy. Godnight. lhkjgufhsrfgh
The feelings at that age are so confused as I look back it still makes my pussy wet the humiliation the taste of his salt mixed with my tears. It was my first sexual experience. My parents believed him over me and thought I was just fishing for attention. That's when it started.
I was 23 years old, and working at a front desk for a local university something many other deaf people don't do. I am disgusted and confused with myself everyday. I wanted to take myself to the outer darkness that I learned about in the LDS church. I wanted to end my half life. I began making claims I was suicidal for the attention. I ended up checking myself into a treatment center and they treated me badly. I had been cutting myself for years to feel the pain but my bishop helped me stop. But I still had a distorted itch between my legs. I believe in the morals my religion has taught me,that's why I hate what I do to myself.
I stopped cutting myself to feel and posted an ad on craigslist for a sado-masochist partner to put me in my place to force their slimy members into me, to hurt me and make me feel pain. I got a few responses ended up meeting this "man" who called himself the only. I met the only at his house after an email picture exchange. He was a gross fat slob, unemployed with a stringy broken mustache and one eye was never looking at you. He had me come in and tied my hands with zip ties, I watched him quit his world of warcraft game and open a rape porn video. The first time it was mostly just spanking and he made me eat the cockroach shit off his floor a he came in my eyes and made me snort the rest off his dick, it burnt my nose and tasted rancid. the yellow clumps were hard to get up my nose, but i made them fit.
The next week I felt horrible about what I had done but felt the need to go back. This time was much more brutal and to the point as he answered the door in a leather gimp suit. he greeted my by bending me over shoving a mason jar up me and then proceeded to fuck my ass until It was bleeding like that time of the month. It hurt so good finally I was getting the punishment I needed but not from myself. I could barely sit down for the next week and shit clumps of blood and even found a paperclip straightened out in one of the clumps. I told him it was a little too much for me and he said follow the code,you're mine now, I own you until I decide to dismiss you.
His house smelt like sulfur and pickled eggs. It was as filthy as him, but a little less disgusting. He began filming me as he ripped my tampon out taping it over my mouth screaming at me to squeeze his balls and to put my pink blouse on him. He had me call him a pretty little girl. I puked out my nose because my mouth was taped off. he ripped my hearing aids out like he had the tampon and shoved them up my asshole. He said if it wasn't still up there when I came back I would pay. All week I didn't hear and accidentally shit them out a few times and had to shove the hearing aids back in on my own.
The next visit he pulled them out of my ass and was satisfied I had kept them in all week. he would call me a worthless handicapped bitch. He showed me the hearing aids soaked in my own bile and shit before he stuck them back into my ears. He never showered himself and you could tell by his ringworm and rashes he now passed on to to me. He suffocated me with his dick as deep as it could go with a close pin on my nose so I couldn't breath. I passed out and woke up with my limbs spread tied against the bed posts ,ductape across my eyes and I could feel something big inside my ass. When he saw i had woken up he kicked me in the face and put his athletes foot in my mouth making me suck his toes as he ate dominoes hot wings dipping them in the gaping hole I could feel my butt had turned into. It burned and he would eat them after, making me eat the ones with shit on them.
I was going too far into this. he was such a fucker he didn't deserve to have a sex slave deaf or otherwise. He wasn't even getting me off anymore like he had with the vacuum on my third visit to the dungeon . I began feeling very guilty and decided to confess to my bishop. I didn't tell him all of the details but he understood and instantly judged me. He said I needed to pay my tithing more and that I need yo stay away from him if I wanted to get into the celestial kingdom. I told a coworker the truth and how I love to hate this. She told my boss and they wanted me to go to another treatment center or take a leave for personal reasons, that bitch I should have never told her. She ruined everything.
That is where I am now I'm 26 now and getting mind fucked in this asylum I can't escape. sometimes the night staff will gang bang me and that's the highlight of my month. I like the black guy because his cock almost feels like the mason jar in my ass. I dream of death, I know I've lost myself completely. I break up the days by writing sex stories and I've become obsessed and banned from the computers for watching porn. It's all I have to make me feel its what I want if I can't have death the meds make me feel crazier. I just gave myself an enema with a bottle of drano ..... I found on kitchen duty,I'm starting to get sleepy. Godnight. lhkjgufhsrfgh
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