?A?

weird you can see my eeyes thoughts

HELL LEAKS

CHAPTER 1

its day i don't know what anymore, I'm tired of waking up. i'm bored of whats there when I finally do roll out of bed.  The sirens stopped maybe a year ago? maybe 30 years ago?  My beard is grey, I like it.  I'm the only silver fox left on this putrid lopsided radiation infected planter.

My name is connor I lived my life as all pretend.  To be accepted.  I wore the clothes, I went to the jobs, I drove the cars.  I made small talk about organic foods.

that was years ago,

I'm not sure how many.  

maybe 30 maybe 20.

My head hurts overtime I wake up.  the waves of toxic human waste seeps into mysleep and I wake up shaking and accidentally kicking my pet mechanical rabbit.  (her name is roxy she is more like a dog)  she gets angry briefly then understands my unconscious tantrum.  I try and keep her safe as much as i can . she's all the hope i have left. all the hope of love. 

Its like waking up in a room of spraypaint with all he windows closed.  you nightmare everything because your braincells are melting and you waking up reaching for them.  instead you kick your pet rabbit.  

god left us ….i don't know how long ago

20 30 years

maybe more, but as they say gods years could be any amount of human years.

I can't believe i can type after this radiation.  I've taken shelfter in a n old abandoned house in the suburbs of a small state i believe is called utah, i've puzzled the street signs and maps together to figure that it is called utah.   

i'm not sure 

it was maybe 20-34 years ago

I wonder how old i am

i wonder how old i would be if this didn't happen….i wonder why i'm still alive.  I wonder what I will eat for breakfast.. humans have failed the earth and it no longer grows healthy fruits.  the seeds i eat are of old carcass, or other people just like me , last week i tricked a family into my crawl space disguising roxy as a flesh and bone good eating rabit.  (I had to cover her red eyes.  )  once they were down there I locked the trapdoor and left for atlas a week

maybe two

maybe 20 years,

when I came back the youth were rotten there were 3 boys and 1 girl, a father (weaker than the youngest girl, i'm sure from failing his family)  and the wife was still moving ..  I'm not a murderer

so I closed the door again as flies swarmed out.

slipping on my gas mask or doctors mask, or bandanna….I don't know what they would call it or what it is even, it might be an ex mammal.  for some reason i think its lizard, I read that word at a library in a  book entitled "darwins cock" or something like that. from what my shit for brains memory recalls , i came format that lizard (my face rag)  and its tough

I stomped through the glowing snow in my ravaged boots i murdered and 18 year old boy for, atlas i think it was a boy you cant tell now that the bombs pretty much burnt off all parts you weren't huddled over grasping.. he seemed man enough with a little prick of hair under his chin surely underdeveloped.  

my stomach was starting to swell up and I was unsure of my own man parts they were hidden from this fat birthing purple bulge.  

I think I have parasites.

I continue stomping throughout he snow-spots glowing with some nucleaur bullshit that got poured on us during ….i don't even remember it was 20-maybe 60 years ago

i made an igloo (i learned this from the exactl same book format eh library)  and began feeling warmth. roxy was "sleeping or recharging by laying in a puddle of green glowing yellow snow. somehow she had adapted to the fumes and took advantage of them.  she ran on the stuff.   

alone staring at the center of the room imagininign a fire that wasn't yellow and making me dizzy.  maybe the dizziness helped I had something no body else did some sort of immunity to this dilemma.

i woke up after 30 maybe 20 years …. I was in the same place time means nothing

roxy was gone, probably scouting.  Such a great little companion.  I punched myself a number of times before i could see clearly and venture out following the scattered hoppy footprints my last chance of love had left behind.  on the way I found a dead glowing flower that spit poison ivy or some highly evolved or corrupt version. IT may have been a hedge hog..  I was "hungry" so I released yesterdays meal into my canister and ate mmmm some of it was still whole,  thank s god.

after an hour or 20-30 years I finally caught up with roxy that was gnawing on what looked like a battery, NEXT TO A DEAD HUMNA, i hope human.  I approached with caution because the androids have been hunting us to ruin the planet further I still don't get what what y get out of it.  I wish I could give it to them and they would go away .  it was definitely a human, Dressed in eskimo attire (learned from the same library book )  I hung over him and waited for a sign of life, I heard a breath and quickly stamped on the back of his neck three or five maybe 30-40 times. i stopped and waited as some purplish rare red blood spurted only for a moment before the veins froze and beceame useless.. like killing a deer if you don't get to it before the flies lay eggs in it it becomes useless.. this man/woman/bleeder was my food for a week.  I worked for an hour and a half, oro 20-40years to simplify his form to fit in my nap sack.  I would be ok for now depending on what i ran into on my way back to the igloo, I would stash the corpse Parts there, and return them home, treating it as a highly evolved deep freeze. .  God i could go for a creamsicle.

CHAPTER 2

roxy is acting funny her eyes are projecting a purple kind of beam and she is making a chattering noise.. when i try and confront her she looks like an old woman with caderaccs.  i even kissed her on the cheek. she didn't get the message.  

I'd never seen this behavior in her as long as i've lived maybe 20-80- years….in human in god years who knows how long that really is?

quiz time

1.who is your god?

2. do you talk to it?

3. what would you ask it right now

4. your god is dead

I have eaten a good amount of the findings from the other day and I feel strength like i haven't in years, maybe 20 -22 years.  maybe hwen i was 20.. I don't know atlas i'm still concise enough to kno what I am retarded. 

which Is politically correct because all the politicians have died, that leaves only me.  don't save the trees their already dead, 

no obama care he's already ……

just do what we were put here to , hunt and be hunted.  i sometimes wonder if I was missed int he mass murder of humans for a reason or if I just lucked out, or if i deserve this hell.  Either way I'm hungry.  not for food. for pussy. for swollen wet north african french moroccan pussy. the kind of woman that will never exist again the kind of woman that has creases from the profile of her naked body that you may call curves.  they drive me crazy.. maybe they keep me sane.  I have tried beating my dick, fucking ice holes, fucking other homed devices, fucking roxy, its all pointless I did cum once in deep "meditation" using my left hand but I wa sonly imagining her curves and her mouth on the tip ass I got my heart rate up so fast it exploded out into her gorgeous mouth, and for an act so ugly she made it look so beautifully and took it like a queen.  

I still elieve in love because of that. she will never leave me no matter how dead she is or retarded from radiation.  I will always have that imaginary verisou of the one that "got away"  

sorry to get off topic but now i'm reminded off her .  I wen tot vegas with her . i met her in new york at a party.  not just any party the best party of my entire life.   I wen tot meet up wtha  buddy after work and had a little trouble finding this place, but once up the four flights of graffitied stairwell there wa a hall lined with people on either side, and rooms leadining to different "lofts" or party houses.  I located greg and got a drink of vodka (my least favorite but oh god what id kill fo ra  drink of it now)  I walked up to him  face to face eye contact and everything and said as loud as i could "suppppppppp nigggga lets inf some bitches to makeup with )  this was my attitude after working retail in what used to be manhattan .   vein

vanity

he mumbled like usual and i turned around. he was already talking to two women, the choice was mine because his looks were ok but i had the favor. … also they both looked up former sucking their straws directly when I turned.   I knew instantly the one on the right hand side was the one.. she wasn't necessarily my type but we got talking (thank greg for already having the women present)  here name was nadine and she was a jew that grew up in new york city, she just had a birthday and left an eric cropland show, I Was in love at that point, before she shared her moonrocks ro what rappers would later name the shit "molly"   I showed her the worst side of me the tifrst night, not great advice to all you young radiation fucktards.  never let them in.  

I asked her to kiss me

I hit my head informant of a group of livers 

I road home in a cab with her

I took the train home 

I loved her..

I just wanted to be in love…

I still want to prove it. maybe that is love me wanting to prove it.

my soul has been dripping 

its been dripping the thoughts of the past

no the the past as in pawst present future but he the past lives lived behind me

i am unsure with how to deal with this so I Treat it As entertainment. 

but once i'm finished thinking about it or it begins to fade from my train of thought I find myself feeling much like a dead wolf rigor mortise has set in and i'm just stiff lying on my side….waiting for roxy to come starting picking into me with those sharp metalllic teeth.

I need treatment.  

I need to leave this area before I can't

I need to feed myself again… i'm on the las tlimb of the man I stole from his family weeks ago its the worst part the upper leg. surprisingly a rotten penis taste much better than a rotten thight or calf. 

I do not know why

SOMETIMES I SMELL MY PISS AND I'M REMINDED OF A GATWEAY 

a gateway out of here for sure, but it reminds me of the old times.

29  

40  

50 years ago

and then i hear the whistle and the song

rings in my ears and i feel comfortable i feel stupid but comfy

theres on beattthat is keeping me going and its not my own heart

its omsthing I wou ldhave died long ago if i could have. 

I don't know why i can,t I've had a part of me eaten, I've tried to end it myself on my own i don t know 

novella draft dont forget -note to self MILEY CYRUS

HELL LEAKS

CHAPTER 1

its day i don't know what anymore, I'm tired of waking up. i'm bored of whats there when I finally do roll out of bed.  The sirens stopped maybe a year ago? maybe 30 years ago?  My beard is grey, I like it.  I'm the only silver fox left on this putrid lopsided radiation infected planter.

My name was connor I lived my life as all did during the past, as pretend.  To be accepted. 
I wore the clothes,
I went to the jobs,
I drove the cars. 
I made small talk about organic foods.

that was years ago,

I'm not sure how many.  

maybe 30 maybe 20.

My head hurts gradually, overtime. everytime i wake up I wake up thinking fuck my life.  the waves of toxic human waste seeps into mysleep and I wake up shaking and accidentally kicking my pet mechanical rabbit.  (her name is roxy she is more like a dog)  she gets angry briefly then understands my unconscious tantrum.  I try and keep her safe as much as i can . she's all the hope i have left. all the hope of love. 

Its like waking up in a room of spraypaint with all he windows closed.  you nightmare everything because your braincells are melting and you waking up reaching for them.  instead you kick your pet rabbit.  

god left us ….i don't know how long ago

20 30 years

maybe more, but as they say gods years could be any amount of human years.

I can't believe i can type after this radiation.  I've taken shelfter in a n old abandoned house in the suburbs of a small state i believe is called utah, i've puzzled the street signs and maps together to figure that it is called utah.   

i'm not sure 

it was maybe 20-34 years ago

I wonder how old i am

i wonder how old i would be if this didn't happen….i wonder why i'm still alive.  I wonder what I will eat for breakfast.. humans have failed the earth and it no longer grows healthy fruits.  the seeds i eat are of old carcass, or other people just like me , last week i tricked a family into my crawl space disguising roxy as a flesh and bone good eating rabit.  (I had to cover her red eyes.  )  once they were down there I locked the trapdoor and left for atlas a week

maybe two

maybe 20 years,

when I came back the youth were rotten there were 3 boys and 1 girl, a father (weaker than the youngest girl, i'm sure from failing his family)  and the wife was still moving ..  I'm not a murderer

so I closed the door again as flies swarmed out.

slipping on my gas mask or doctors mask, or bandanna….I don't know what they would call it or what it is even, it might be an ex mammal.  for some reason i think its lizard, I read that word at a library in a  book entitled "darwins cock" or something like that. from what my shit for brains memory recalls , i came format that lizard (my face rag)  and its tough

I stomped through the glowing snow in my ravaged boots i murdered and 18 year old boy for, atlas i think it was a boy you cant tell now that the bombs pretty much burnt off all parts you weren't huddled over grasping.. he seemed man enough with a little prick of hair under his chin surely underdeveloped.  

my stomach was starting to swell up and I was unsure of my own man parts they were hidden from this fat birthing purple bulge.  

I think I have parasites.

I continue stomping throughout he snow-spots glowing with some nucleaur bullshit that got poured on us during ….i don't even remember it was 20-maybe 60 years ago

i made an igloo (i learned this from the exactl same book format eh library)  and began feeling warmth. roxy was "sleeping or recharging by laying in a puddle of green glowing yellow snow. somehow she had adapted to the fumes and took advantage of them.  she ran on the stuff.   

alone staring at the center of the room imagininign a fire that wasn't yellow and making me dizzy.  maybe the dizziness helped I had something no body else did some sort of immunity to this dilemma.

i woke up after 30 maybe 20 years …. I was in the same place time means nothing

roxy was gone, probably scouting.  Such a great little companion.  I punched myself a number of times before i could see clearly and venture out following the scattered hoppy footprints my last chance of love had left behind.  on the way I found a dead glowing flower that spit poison ivy or some highly evolved or corrupt version. IT may have been a hedge hog..  I was "hungry" so I released yesterdays meal into my canister and ate mmmm some of it was still whole,  thank s god.

after an hour or 20-30 years I finally caught up with roxy that was gnawing on what looked like a battery, NEXT TO A DEAD HUMNA, i hope human.  I approached with caution because the androids have been hunting us to ruin the planet further I still don't get what what y get out of it.  I wish I could give it to them and they would go away .  it was definitely a human, Dressed in eskimo attire (learned from the same library book )  I hung over him and waited for a sign of life, I heard a breath and quickly stamped on the back of his neck three or five maybe 30-40 times. i stopped and waited as some purplish rare red blood spurted only for a moment before the veins froze and beceame useless.. like killing a deer if you don't get to it before the flies lay eggs in it it becomes useless.. this man/woman/bleeder was my food for a week.  I worked for an hour and a half, oro 20-40years to simplify his form to fit in my nap sack.  I would be ok for now depending on what i ran into on my way back to the igloo, I would stash the corpse Parts there, and return them home, treating it as a highly evolved deep freeze. .  God i could go for a creamsicle.

CHAPTER 2

roxy is acting funny her eyes are projecting a purple kind of beam and she is making a chattering noise.. when i try and confront her she looks like an old woman with caderaccs.  i even kissed her on the cheek. she didn't get the message.  

I'd never seen this behavior in her as long as i've lived maybe 20-80- years….in human in god years who knows how long that really is?

quiz time

1.who is your god?

2. do you talk to it?

3. what would you ask it right now

4. your god is dead

I have eaten a good amount of the findings from the other day and I feel strength like i haven't in years, maybe 20 -22 years.  maybe hwen i was 20.. I don't know atlas i'm still concise enough to kno what I am retarded. 

which Is politically correct because all the politicians have died, that leaves only me.  don't save the trees their already dead, 

no obama care he's already ……

just do what we were put here to , hunt and be hunted.  i sometimes wonder if I was missed int he mass murder of humans for a reason or if I just lucked out, or if i deserve this hell.  Either way I'm hungry.  not for food. for pussy. for swollen wet north african french moroccan pussy. the kind of woman that will never exist again the kind of woman that has creases from the profile of her naked body that you may call curves.  they drive me crazy.. maybe they keep me sane.  I have tried beating my dick, fucking ice holes, fucking other homed devices, fucking roxy, its all pointless I did cum once in deep "meditation" using my left hand but I wa sonly imagining her curves and her mouth on the tip ass I got my heart rate up so fast it exploded out into her gorgeous mouth, and for an act so ugly she made it look so beautifully and took it like a queen.  

I still elieve in love because of that. she will never leave me no matter how dead she is or retarded from radiation.  I will always have that imaginary verisou of the one that "got away"  

sorry to get off topic but now i'm reminded off her .  I wen tot vegas with her . i met her in new york at a party.  not just any party the best party of my entire life.   I wen tot meet up wtha  buddy after work and had a little trouble finding this place, but once up the four flights of graffitied stairwell there wa a hall lined with people on either side, and rooms leadining to different "lofts" or party houses.  I located greg and got a drink of vodka (my least favorite but oh god what id kill fo ra  drink of it now)  I walked up to him  face to face eye contact and everything and said as loud as i could "suppppppppp nigggga lets inf some bitches to makeup with )  this was my attitude after working retail in what used to be manhattan .   vein

vanity

he mumbled like usual and i turned around. he was already talking to two women, the choice was mine because his looks were ok but i had the favor. … also they both looked up former sucking their straws directly when I turned.   I knew instantly the one on the right hand side was the one.. she wasn't necessarily my type but we got talking (thank greg for already having the women present)  here name was nadine and she was a jew that grew up in new york city, she just had a birthday and left an eric cropland show, I Was in love at that point, before she shared her moonrocks ro what rappers would later name the shit "molly"   I showed her the worst side of me the tifrst night, not great advice to all you young radiation fucktards.  never let them in.  

I asked her to kiss me

I hit my head informant of a group of livers 

I road home in a cab with her

I took the train home 

I loved her..

I just wanted to be in love…

I still want to prove it. maybe that is love me wanting to prove it.

nojoke

i''m not kidding the only thing that is haulting the urge to blow my head off is no gun or bulltets, i would definetlyely want a .38 special revolver to do it with and have ason to leave it to.  just liek, in pulp fiction wh en the boy inherits trhe3 mnedal from that dudes ass. letetter s are meaning less to me now, spellling like hte age of my brain dead

bye fuck bye byeyeye

alien predator

these techniques have grown old and boring.  I won't let them age with me.  No longer dangle strings and hide my hammer.   I dont know how to feel right now other than I want to kill the evil in me.  I want to be what I know was once there again.  I feel my heart clenched so tightly it will never love.  just clench.  my heart will just clench beautiful things and suck the life out of them.   holding them there while they kick bite and scream.  hurting the prisoner and the prison.  I don['t even know if I care about her at all.  I'm just lying to myself.   I feel my chest flying as i exhale the truth.  I
 I
}IU
I
I
I
I
II
I
}I
III

Baedine

WARNING : truth in these words you may not want to hear. 

The cool news for me is that I'm growing stronger because of this, what's sad is you never admit your faults , so you just lose out on that. You lose me and you lose a part of yourself. I gain me and a huge part of myself you've been sitting on cramping for way too long. I hate how you treat me, no wonder I don't trust you. You don't give a fuck what I do, you say so yourself. I actually feel sorry for the guy that is surely going to make you a single mother.  I hate how you make me feel, you can't acknowledge anything I've accomplished as good you just say I haven't done shit. Bullshit. You are such a wad of bullshit, and my radar has been going off the whole time. Just because I don't get a lame ass report card doesn't mean I haven't accomplished things. Good for you for accomplishing your goals, too bad you have no modesty(I mean that in multiple ways, promiscuous- girl) I don't know if you're manipulating me consciously or if you're such a bitch you've convinced yourself you're right. The best part is, I'll never regret this because I'm dropping a disease, that's 3 in one year. A+. Now you have to live with yourself ALONE.  Good thing I don't mind being alone. I'm sure you'll keep making excuses and distract yourself from truly looking in the mirror. Maybe now that you can get laid every Thursday without having to worryit you'll attract another sorry sucker to fuck with. Live it up girl. My situation Is not cause you're a strong person Nadine, you're flimsy you fold to whoever you're with. Don't flatter yourself so much. You will agree just to be accepted. That's why I got mad the night of yours truly I got so frustrated at you being such a phony.  I hope you read all of this because it is my deepest farewell. Thanks for helping me grow and realize I don't need you're dysfunctional love. You'll probably die in denial. That I'm sad for. I did make you up in my head because it was too painful to see what I was really dating after the year mark. You've held my balls in a negative cycle (I am a sucker for them) for too long, it's time for you to move on to your next sad lost boy that needs somebody.  Because you attract what you are at the time, and it seems to be a pattern with you. Of course I have my problems but one of them is to not deny the blame. I accept fully what I haven't done to end this earlier. I should have been more of the man I am, I just feel so manipulated in circles and circles. Good luck. Next time you're Screaming at your family think- you have known mental illness the entire time. Btw I hate your mother seriously. Someday  you're going to be as close minded and obsessed with social status as her , if you aren't already.

Again,

Goodluck ! I believe I felt love for you at one time, I wish I didn't become this fucking pussy and let everything fly for so long. Denying my heart. At least I can admit that.  

Ps. 

Anyone you find will have a problem with you're need to be promiscuous, not just me. Seriously did you think I was stupid?  if you find a guy that's down... expect a lot of other women in your bed. Also I really hope your career in tumblr art takes off maybe I should get an autograph? Also don't forget to bring condoms over seas this summer. Or don't, they have abortions in London right? 

❤️😒👎

snarestorm

ye

LOL

1/2/2014

What sucks in this world is when you realize the future is death and nothing truly matters fuck tv, fuck your tattoos fuck your face if anyone even wants to do that, with me that's the case .it also sucks when you are the only one to see this and you want to  end your life but out of stupid human empathy you can't because you will hurt the people that beleive they love you . It's selfish to kill yourself and to love somene god is dead and so are we . Fuck fame too . How do I get around this situation? I'm not gonna kill the people who love me just so I can do myself in. The only thing I want in life just hurts me so what's the fucking point when your dick is dry and your heart is numb or dead. It only beats at the sight of a female fucking the fall of mankind holding all control. I now chose to give up control I am going to spread this hate but I don't know how yet. The planning starts now. I will begins by not showing anyone any of my emotions appearing to be a sociopath to the outside I will not show a single sad emotion my body is now a wall that will hold everything out. Love is an excuse to be happy when all there is is constant pain. I can't remember he last time I enjoyed anything but sticking my finger inside her ass. I like sex and cigarettes but I don't enjoy cigarettes. I enjoy some music but I'm told it tucks with your head. What do you do when all your heros commuted suicide or we're completely insane everyone is insane. I need to get out of amerca or out this planet. This angry is hard to melt and downy stop no after how deep it goes. I don't know where it started and it seems to have no end. I guess all life is born to die and I should be ready all the time, what  does that do to my nerves? What am I hiding from myself? Who can help me but me if I don't know. I'm drowning but continuously, never dying just not breathing . My brain is dead cause in fucked were all fucked so why be happy it isn't a state of being it happens when you cum. Which isn't love it's a drug too. The only thing I enjoy in life is a form of a drug. Love is a drug and so are pets, phones; books , computers, dreams, music, movies, the earth is a giant drug that we're too afraid to burn through. I truly wish the app polyphase wold come right now I want this world to melt and the sun to disappear to all things. I'm gonna.

Constipated diareah machine gust bursts

Constipated diareah machine gust bursts 

Nigga das po e tree ep

Free willie style piles stacked miles up the sky, grown ass man, make me cry sippin on life triplin my income folds of bills an hen sum. Drop that bitch I get another one. Stuck in a funk now I'm moving on.pee is strong. Clean my body. Thong so nasty, get this bitch off me, I fuck with bitches that's ass give you stitches. My mistress is seamless and my rhyme is streamlined to the flow of her insides working on me balls slap I'm gunn cum. She push me off and I clean her off.  ...push me off.....clean me off... Mmm'mm gurl I wanna suck on you,  I gotta call from will smith he want me to shoot, scooting white round the house dance floor, feng shui so hard I feng shui my body, wu tang bang hard in the gym sweating drips of liqour. I got that green behind my zipper. not my dick I mean my slippers whisper in my ear you miss her . That bitty forgot you I wouldnt trust her. what's worste I wouldn't fuck her. Snub nose drills my mind all the time I'll get that some day tomorrow. Rubbing strippers on my dollars .clicking mice quick can't follow. Yourube be dropping shit these young kids just eat it's sick the only comments I leave are flaming. Computer benefits society such a crazy thing subscribe to me. Justustubes follow me. I'll screw you up twist your mind. Sleep in my moms house that's alright. This is me motherfucking jc born from a good mother white trash turned middle class. Don't ask about my father. I clap his ass if I Eva saw him. Make his eyes dim, sick puppy don't even bother. This asshole clogged a daughter. White minor trailer trash belly feels up fast neither gentleman or scholar. Ballers watch their mind. Cleaning all the time mass murders sound fine. The revolution never shines it's darker than my mind, turning like her behind. Don't follow her. Livin life without her Body living life it's a party. Streamlined find your sign follow close behind get lost inside a while turn alive try style after smile. 

Cruising round happyvalley

Glow rocks-in-my--pock-et

Close to 2home- I rocket 

Center steet I ain't stoppin

Speeding signs I'm not looking

Bitch don't slam your breaks 

fake white midwife escalade or hummer

See this shit all summer

I wanna pull close, punch her lunch call her husband while I fuck her.

Mormons can't resist a wigger driving his moms car. Playlist of nineties songs. ladies I wanna here you sing along 

"I don't want to scrub scrub is a guy that can t get no love from me"

dat city high next you no we rolling now. Tried mcdonalds for a burger but they all out. I look a cross the street Burger King . Take me time now as I'm flying now got my food grin on you can't lie to me

Smile at the speed signs,

Don't return when I'm coming back don't ride my ass just pass me by . Then I'll fucking heat you... 

Mormon bitch I'll schoot you

You ain't rich but your church is

My click is full of gay kids in high school, I buy them booze they come through they funny dudes 

I hope they hit as hard as you

Now I'm chewin on my gum let my brain slow down smoking ain't even and option now. I've gone so far, I'm just going up. Pray so hard turn Buddha over. joke on Popsicle stick I choke before I can't read it. Type so small see through your window let's be there. Yo toto I'm coming back to Africa. See you soon I'll write a letter in my room. Jamin dj screw take a break i chop cassettes. On mpc After 303 assists in distortion. Map it out hit pass. Sequencing beats need privacy can't think right now I'm flowing. Beat makes me drool load new cassette on chop it up, me fingers synths Isolde on vinyl crackle like my heart beat that shit makes me smile beach boys been dun sun don't need to follow. Do you do it better or don't bother. My brother don't exist I heard it from myself I am my own father. Fuck lotteries your fake dreams. stinky creased unbranded jeans dirty on my body. Start to smell cease to wash em. 

No I won't wash them no I won't wash them no I want toss cycle wash them 

Creasing looks like me now 3 months til soak down. Hi top white chucks stained indigo by ankle. 

If you wanna get with me

Sorry you can't

Ifd you wanna sing with me

Can't do I rap

Wanna make beats n smoke trees with my ego? 

Fuck that I won't bother

No new friends stealin places in my life standing up for my rights . Say no scrub u can't  come over. Trillest wino in Utah they stare at my laces, my face looking ageless from soberiety. Taking the government s drugs they lethal. Elevator Muzak sounds can't feel the rhythm   get real with you get like me be real with yourself try to believe in something.  

Sent from my iPhone

IKEA

I convince myself I have feelings for them so I don't feel as guilty when j leave them looking empty and confused. But still full of me in one way of another.

How I feel

Joke

1.

Semen full of little swimmers and protein, I hear it tastes like what you eat. Same for pussy.

 I wonder if you eat a lot of pussy your semen will taste like pussy

Or the other way around like a girl that eats a ton of dick has a dick smelling pussy.  What about gays eating ass I mean does their cum taste like shit?

Two cold lumps rubbing together with no feeling.

This winter it has finally happened to me.  What I knew would happen all along.  My body is cold and hard.  My lungs are stuck to my closed throat.  My body rejects any environment that is warming that 40 degrees.  I have icicles for limbs, and they flower out at the ends where my fingers used to be.  Now i'm just a star with shards of ice poking through me in all directions.  If I begin to melt the ice tries to exit my pores and spikes through the entirety of my skin all at once.  I can no longer feel my body from the inside out.  When I touch it it feels like touching fresh Novocain gums.  Two cold lumps rubbing together with no feeling.  I cant move too fast for too long or it starts to melt, and I am left in pain.

Why am I suddenly obsessed with this song?

Blue star

My strange addiction

Dr jefferey gould 

Very few people know that Casey is eating her husbands ashes 

Made

My favorite band is Netflix on vinyl. 

Found a gold mine

P

Not a bad haul not a bad haul at all

2 pairs of made in England authentic docs 6$

computer dreams (1988)

Came across this randomly on youtube, its an awesome documentary/compilation?.  I can't believe i've never heard of it.  It's about early 3D modeling, some great 80's tunes too.

ambient  lofi space music lofi

New video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL-L-R6DT5A&feature=c4-overview&list=UUrWdpZvcxUmJQUe22bMHyPw

tough decicison to make us both grown and be more who we want to be. life is full of hard decicions. i'm making th right one

I guess its time to let you go and flow on like the preface to rhythm you hold, you dont feel the beat of my heart ...you jus ttouch my left chest and shake.because i deied in97 and its a transplant of a bear.were both dead not ... my heart, that big kind bears heart... has run dry i'm sick of bing(not and add to microsoft) this far away from the girl i love.what sucks in life is you will never be loved, humans will never give the trust to ou that you stretch in fron t of them, and they act annoyed because they were usuing you as company fake love.  they dont understand life as muc as me...we  are all distorted.well good luck its the bst way to do it...of course this religioin requiores frequion tit picking like monkeys.  there sso man fat asses with suck tight holes to tap, its not sexual. i know you wanna go out and do the same thing too. youve been giving me hints at it for so long like a passive little puss, look babe ill always love you but the only way you can hurt me is by doing what you are.  do you live your 21 year old life. i havent even fucked a black chick yett, its not that big of a deal but i kinda wanna check that off my bucket list, i will sacrifice this mostly dissapointing dream.  acutually i did fuck a black chick once.....BUT NOT ANALLY..    anal enjoyment only exists ive the girls recieving are being paid  a huge // a mound of cum. .hopefully burried in there despereat throat, forbidding them adn you to flirt .. i do love you but LETS DO WHATS BEST FOR OURSELVES... and that me, you shit on my business when you have done NOTHING NOGHTHn but be a cliche waitress. thats not an insult ... its just stating hte facts. welcom to reality... move out of your parents crib before you become them, because i can tell you one thing i dont wanna marry you time bom anorexic  judgemenetasl mother.   i feel like i'm setttling for you, i gave you time but you just  came outt this way . you havent progressed 1% since i met you... and you lied about it happening, i wouldnt care ...but you said youd be doing things you arent. i want to be rich ahppy and successful and i feel like you might hold me back from that. when i am rich and succsessful i will definetly come back and see you your available.  I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE YOU Pllllz .i dont know i wish people were real. were all stuck here miserably alone so why not help and communicate about it.. i'm sorry i got my dick sucked once in the first week we were dating and its been the biggest mistake of my life.  it was that girl we ran into to beauty bar and i was denying our entire relationship I'm as much to blame as you.   ..


IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING SET IT FREE,
IF IT COME BACK TO YOU IT LOVES YOU

deaz

oven droor
virgin birth
helen keller basketball camp
period blood
burnt lungs
weather face

Immaculate Conception

Understand

I hope you understand how awesome microwave take out containers are.


pic from a few months ago

culture vulture

23 23 23 23 Michael Jordan should sue that bitch.

     Yes i'm talking about that culture whore that feels the need to suck the blood out of pop culture and shit it out it nasty scrawny white girl diarrhea.   Twerking is for girls with curves, not scrawny disney stars gone wannabe ghetto.  Was she even alive when michael jordan played?  I guess it doesn't matter, she has probably gained respect for him through tumbler posts and youtube videos. Jesus I was even so young when space jam came out.
      Why do people exploit things?  Obviously she is doing whatever it takes to remain relevant and shocking in the media.  I used to "respect" juicy j , if that is even the right word.  Whiz whatever the fuck has always sucked.  After seeing the beginning of the 23 video I don't get why he is working with her. He has the same blood as her I suppose, wants to be rich and famous and will do whatever it takes.  I couldn't watch more that 30 seconds of the 23 video. the second her tongue came out I closed the window so fast. That bitch seriously disgusts me on another level, not just sexually.   Thicken up if you want to twerk.  Why is a skinny, assless, chicken leg bitch the new spokes person for ass shaking?
     I'm sad every time I see someone wearing a jordan jersey I will think of miley sticking her wormy slut tongue out.  I used to see jordan jersey and be like oh cool thats a real dude.  I'm just glad child stars usually turn out horribly fucked up and can see that she is starting pretty early into adulthood.
  She is not a sexually independent woman, she is a wannabe hood rat that hasn't seen anything in her life but the disney channel producers worm dick that strangely resembles her tongue, they would say to hannah Montana "If you want another season, let me see your tongue on my uncircumcised cock again, two peas in a pod.".




 I would laugh if she died. I think she should have her tongue circumcised.

ahh keeps the rain out

elevator

I know of an elevator that goes straight to columbia in America it's in the six flag headquarters somewhere in Texas. It takes about 20 min and is closed outside of business hours. No security. Let's get it done

Hoochi

iluvualways4ever

new song
https://soundcloud.com/justuscaruso/iluvu

Am I the red flag giver?

I'm not as perfect as I thought what the fuck is wrong why do I do this? Am I afraid at the mentioning of a permanent thing? But I am sure that's what I want l. I know I don't want anything else the question is can I be to her what she needs,can I trust myself enough to be what I want?  I want to give her what she gives to me, I'm not sure what that is cause I know another person can't make you happy. I just know she's who I'm supposed to be with. I want to set an example of success I want to give her money and be everything she needs. This long distance thing is just a ducky thing Tp have to go through with the person you love. What am I doing wrong? Am I wrong? I think I'm just human I'm not perfect. What I really need is sleep. Relax and get my cavity filled tomorrow I wish the dentist would put me to sleep for it I hate having a numb mouth.

Roxy just got home from vacation

Well, she's back finally from her trip to Ecuador. She got home and started playing these songs on her keyboard she said a wise sage had taught her along with a large group of Ecuadorian naked boys. She was in heaven and is sad to be back. But I'm glad

(remix by ** DJ TRXLL b/\ckw/\rds sn/\pb/\ck*** FEATURING___ TR/\PH0USE///CR/\CK///D/\D AND yung MOM,,,,

"I love you always forever" (remixt by ** DJ TRXLL b/\ckw/\rds sn/\pb/\ck***  FEATURING___ theTR/\PH0USECLAP///CR/\CK/D/\D ,,,,AND,... YU/\/G M0M(carrying LIL lil)  

.....also FEATURING "that special time of the month with Th!ky/WANNAB/CL0GGED ".........and special lack of breasts HAnnimbal MADatmyDAD aint buy me Danimals montanna

i'm not your bitch

running out of options

all i hear is bitches talking 

in line can't tell who farted

why don't you stop then?

i don't think you understanding

i'm saying i get younger, 

yo ass is dropping every year

striking fear in most the manz

i'm the only one who can catch it in a lap dance

rolling in my texas trill friends benz 

mustached wearing circus kazoo

he stays the same

riding a chrome unicycle to juice a java

playing games with his enemies nutz

drinking three cups of coffee

in the VIP  ROOM of the trap house

making coffee in a crack den 

full of homeless dope fiends we made like this.

utah trXLL rxll out here 

got a switchblade from provo mall
i don't want decaf gimme venti tall latte

i love how your ass sways, as you walk away 

i hate to see you go, but ima bout to come

french montana taught me

use a french press

snitch don't  brew too fast 

bitch hipster bullet proof vest

put your body in a cast

have the last laugh

on my youtube ego trip

san francisco kids

getting dick sucked by craigslist

he doesn't make tips

this barista really gives the shits

to robyn thicke and lil wayne kissed 

now i'm at the ritz 

popping yo little sisters zits

with mitt romneys bitch wifes 

sloppy seconds

waste of paper (crumple up that paper cup make it again bitch this time richer like the guy behind fisher price enterprises butler did)

i can't stop talk bout  titz

bout 3 minutes boiil it longer

without this tutorial you would have cold water

you got no clue how to brew

how the upper west side white dudes do

                          SIDE slide the pump take a dump like the french press drinkers do 

like the french press drinkers dooo doo 

i love you always forever derka derka 

bitch i hate those fucking sneakers

i wear nike bruins  stuffed with paper

i couldn't find my size so i got darth vaders pair

ebay won't  let me place a bid 

gambling with your parents kids 

ones and zeros 

playing roulettes futuristic gangster style

war niggas flooded the nile with a hot pile 

of french press soup fresh out their potter

certified trxll G bangers

i haven't slept i'm on a kick

chain smoking everyday

diferent brands of cigarette, 

my eyes so red

the sockets dead with flaking skin

you wish you liived in my sin

i pop these molly mormons in the morning

open cans of coffee grounds when i'm horny

wear my grill all over my house 

bitch i'm making coffee

ho don't touch my coffee

this is how i want it 

steamin hot dark as my dick

your the only bad bitch

thats ever tasted it

girl i fucking love you 

love you love you

make my coffee bitch

don't treat me like a ho

eat your pussy like a snack cuz i'm about to go to school

get coffee caffeine  caffeine 

internet sites full of l

ab sheets explaining 

how to make it

so i baked it

bitch your chalk board is ugly

you fuck john stockton

you got a stocking thong on

i wanna try that mug on

bitch click clack 

go grind my beans 

ho i'll be right back 

i'm gonna take a seat

on the toilet seat 

skeet all over so you have to clean

I can't sleep even though this brew is so weak

i can't hear my teeth grind in my sleep

i leave the house buy some clothes

shop at savers head to toe 

bitch niggas copy how i'm dressing

i'm teaching these salad dressing wearing bitches a lessons during 2d art class

but i'm just laughing at your ass cause everyone knows

bitch had to fart

leave that poo inside you

i ride my bike with a pop tart

watch your bark i'm coming for you

young roxy she a trill nigga keeps her finger(paws)  on the trigger

you got heart girl i fucking love you

i'll wait as you  hand stand pee

some old man looking at me

i'm not gonna pick up your shit

i lean back take a sip

peeping tom on my dick

lady wants me to sit her bitch

i need creamer creamer creamer

shout out to dj wally wally wally wally mart, and young drug creamy lap panty fapper

an my neighbors labrador rest in peace you better respect poor out your prozac for my lil doggie homie cass. 

"your bitch bruised my urethra, she only had two teeth though, fucked her mouth like a keyhole, my dicks still has the fever, she bit me like her brother" 

****H/\LL0\/\/33/\/ R!D3 C/\8 $T/\883R ***

  

R.I.P.

1999-2008

Go on

Go On 1st Mix by Justuscaruso on SoundCloud

a hole in another world

  followed my family on vacation to bermuda what a shit stein. I just wanted to be at home curling my hair and feeling my friend lori up, playing with her nipples normal teenager shit.  now i'm stuck in this hotel that looks like a rundown version of a high class old folks home. my bitch ass dad made me eat the shitty jimmy buffet used cassette for dinner, I TOLD HIM I WANTED BRUNCH.  on our way back I noticed the window was open to my bedroom part of the hotel i saw a sad shadow.  I said
"dont hide"
"he rustled a bit" and knew he had been caught
"hey creeper, I see you.  what the fuck are you doing in my room"

he came over with some stupid sob story about how he had a bad life blah blah blah. i didnt like this bitch ass kid burglar. but of course my parents offer him to stay.

he turned out to be a pretty nice guy untill he bound gagged and tortured us for the rest of the vacation, he forced my fathers bank information out of him. after he stole everything we had with us. then dissapeared into the nice warm day outside.

when my family arrived home the house was trashed, everything stolen, from my dads precious vintage gun collection to my moms pressure cooker.  my laptop and xbox were gone too,

my parents are so stupid.

Deaf

      I was born deaf. My parents raised me not to be disabled, to talk like my brother's did and to speak up for myself that I was a normal person.  In sixth grade my uncle lived with us and it wasn't until he forced his slimy dick into my preteen mouth that I realized I wasn't good enough, I'm defective.
    The feelings at that age are so confused as I look back it still makes my pussy wet the humiliation the taste of his salt mixed with my tears. It was my first sexual experience. My parents believed him over me and thought I was just fishing for attention. That's when it started.
   I was 23 years old, and working at a front desk for a local university something many other deaf people don't do.  I am disgusted and confused with myself everyday. I wanted to take myself to the outer darkness that I learned about in the LDS church.  I wanted to end my half life. I began making claims I was suicidal for the attention. I ended up checking myself into a treatment center and they treated me badly. I had been cutting myself for years to feel the pain but my bishop helped me stop. But I still had a distorted itch between my legs. I believe in the morals my religion has taught me,that's why I hate what I do to myself.

    I stopped cutting myself to feel and posted an ad on craigslist for a sado-masochist partner to put me in my place to force their slimy members into me, to hurt me and make me feel pain.  I got a few responses ended up meeting this "man" who called himself the only.  I met the only at his house  after an email picture exchange. He was a gross fat slob, unemployed with a stringy broken mustache and one eye was never looking at you. He had me come in and tied my hands with zip ties, I watched him quit his world of warcraft game and open a rape porn video.  The first time it was mostly just spanking and he made me eat the cockroach shit off his floor a he came in my eyes and made me snort the rest off his dick, it burnt my nose and tasted rancid.  the yellow clumps were hard to get up my nose, but i made them fit.
    The next week I felt horrible about what I had done but felt the need to go back.  This time was much more brutal and to the point as he answered the door in a leather gimp suit.  he greeted my by bending me over shoving a mason jar up me and then proceeded to  fuck my ass until It was bleeding like that time of the month.  It hurt so good finally I was getting the punishment I needed but not from myself. I could barely sit down for the next week and shit clumps of blood and even found a paperclip straightened out in one of the clumps.  I told him it was a little too much for me and he said follow the code,you're mine now, I own you until I decide to dismiss you.
        His house smelt like sulfur and pickled eggs.  It was as filthy as him, but a little less disgusting. He began filming me as he ripped my tampon out taping it over my mouth screaming at me to squeeze his balls and to put my pink blouse on him. He had me call him a pretty little girl. I puked out my nose because my mouth was taped off. he ripped my hearing aids out like he had the tampon and shoved them up my asshole. He said if it wasn't still up there when I came back I would pay.  All week I didn't hear and accidentally shit them out a few times and had to shove the hearing aids back in on my own.
     
        The next visit he pulled them out of my ass and was satisfied I had kept them in all week.  he would call me a worthless handicapped bitch. He showed me the hearing aids soaked in my own bile and shit before he stuck them back into my ears.   He never showered himself and you could tell by his ringworm and rashes he now passed on to to me.  He suffocated me with his dick as deep as it could go with a close pin on my nose so I couldn't breath. I passed out and woke up with my limbs spread tied against the bed posts ,ductape across my eyes and I could feel something big inside my ass. When he saw i had woken up  he kicked me in the face and put his athletes foot in my mouth making me suck his toes as he ate dominoes hot wings dipping them in the gaping hole I could feel my butt had turned into. It burned and he would eat them after, making me eat the ones with shit on them.

    I was going too far into this. he was such a fucker he didn't deserve to have a sex slave deaf or otherwise. He wasn't even getting me off anymore like he had with the vacuum on my third visit to the dungeon  . I began feeling very guilty and decided to confess to my bishop. I didn't tell him all of the details but he understood and instantly judged me. He said I needed to pay my tithing more and that I need yo stay away from him if I wanted to get into the celestial kingdom. I told a coworker the truth and how I love to hate this. She told my boss and they wanted me to go to another treatment center or take a leave for personal reasons, that bitch I should have never told her. She ruined everything.
     That is where I am now I'm 26 now and getting mind fucked in this asylum I can't escape. sometimes the night staff will gang bang me and that's the highlight of my month. I like the black guy because his cock almost feels like the mason jar in my ass.  I dream of death, I know I've lost myself completely. I break up the days by writing sex stories and I've become obsessed and banned from the computers for watching porn. It's all I have to make me feel its what I want if I can't have death the meds make me feel crazier. I  just gave myself an enema with a bottle of drano ..... I found on kitchen duty,I'm starting to get sleepy. Godnight.  lhkjgufhsrfgh

Rlly?

Wtf http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/s/ref=is_box_?k=body+bag

women

They are finally being granted the same choices men have been choosing for years. they feel liberated just like the males of older generations had, going out getting jobs, getting tattoos, experimenting with substance.  It is cute, but when you start seeing the consequences to your vivacious natural acts.  Society is changing to let the woman become the next generation of addiction, porn careers and "womens liib"  welcome to the party girls, we've been doing this a long time. i'm glad you are no longer slaves though, just be warned you aren't invincible.  this is why we see young girls acting more like cocky young men, they are trying to be that because their gender has been oppressed by other people doing these things while they sat back and watched. but not anymore they will get up and do all those things they always wanted.  haha they think theyre actually better, good job step 15 in our evolution is finally complete. realizing one has personal choice and flavor.

sisterpowers

Circle jerk

Alcohol is just a circle jerk everyone sitting around stroking their bottle till they feel good. Together riding the feel good wave. 

hammmock

i’m not riding off on my high horse, I know for a fact there are much better things to talk about than other peoples beliefs. I see you doing exactly what you are saying they do only in a different way. i don’t want to participate in this lack of conversation, because I’ve heard it a million times and it isn’t happening in the moment. its not going to change anything and it doesn’t make me feel good to rehash all this baggage that isnt even my own.  turn your guilt on me because i am tired and want to lay down, i'm listening to god. i’ll just walk away.  i’m not interested in re run conversations, i love you but you do like to hear your own voice and tell the same stories a lot, i love that about you though I wouldn't change .  but baby when i’m sick and tired i gotta lay down and love me so i can continue loving you.

student rat show gimmick plan

most people like live drummers in a show, student rat, a dummy drummer dressed up or preferably robot playing out of sync to everything while drum machine samples provide real sound, a gimmick for people who like the excitement of a live drummer but still saying fuck you to them. maybe in bondage gear or some other sort of puffy slave suit just rocking out or air drumming on random shit that is silent while getting very involved and way into it.

best dressed

fuck you.